Dear Yama

I hope as you are reading this letter you are happy, wealthy, and successful- whatever these mean to you. This is all I wish for you, always. However, no matter how much I want these for you I can neither guarantee them nor promise that this is how life will always be.

You see, life is very unpredictable. So many things happen that we cannot foresee despite rigorous planning and continuous preparation. Some things are just out of our hands! And yet the closest we ever get to governing the future is by planning regardless. Please read Proverb 16 1-9.

As I was navigating my pre-adult life, I started wishing there was an absolute step by step guide on how to live. However, despite the many self help books I have read, there is very little guarantees on individual prosperity. As your mother, I will tell you some of the things I wish my own mom had told me and can hope that you and God will take care of the rest.

Happiness:

This is an inside job. May you never seek happiness from anything outside of yourself. Only when you are happy with yourself, then you will be able to find joy in everything else. No partner, no new dress/ bigger house, nothing will ever be pleasing if you are not happy with yourself. And one way to always be happy with yourself is by being happy with the decisions you make for your life.

I’ve had to make so many decisions in my 32 years of life. I’m not entirely happy with all of them, but I have learnt to accept them as my own. Do I have any regrets- Probably I have forgiven myself for all the bad decisions. I hope that when you get to make some bad ones yourself, you’ll accept the consequences and forgive yourself. Your happiness depends on it.

Wealth:

I’m no expert but if you can save R100 today, please do. If you can save more, even better. Saving is by far the simplest way to ensure financial security. The sooner you start the higher the benefit. I have used my savings for rainy days, and to get myself out of financial shit holes. It’s so liberating! I have also used my savings to spoil myself, this is a feeling I can’t put to words, and hope that you’ll be able to feel it for yourself one day.

NB. And if you must take out debt, let it be to accumulate more money.

As much as I want you to be a financially stable adult, I pray to God that you do not live your life trying to chase money and end up missing some of the most precious things. Spending time with your loved ones and pursuing your passions are things no amount of money can buy. This is the ultimate wealth.

Success:

This is whatever you make it to be. It’s relative. I can only encourage you to have big dreams that are challenging enough to give your life purpose. I wish you courage to chase those big dreams despite the adversaries- There will be many! But always remember, “the tougher the journey, the sweeter the victory”.

Somehow, I know you will be successful. You have a relentless will to win. I have seen it so many times. I have seen how dedicated you get when pursuing a project and how passionate you become about finishing the course. You are just 7 years old but the fire in you is amazing and I promise to do whatever it takes to keep it burning.

Uyingwe mntanam, and I cannot wait to see you live life on your own terms.

I cannot promise you an easy life, that is not up to me because we do not exist on own. But I will ALWAYS be supportive of your decisions, and I will always encourage your aspirations.

I love you.

Always.